Left Behind
by MizuneMinamiki
Summary: "I lost a best friend. Two of them. But sometimes, they talk to me like I lost so much more." [NaLu] [Spoilers for Chapter 416]


**Note: [**Spoilers for 416] The new chapter killed me with NaLu feels, so I had to write something for it, no matter how short and choppy it is. I'm probably gonna give this a few updates before bringing it to an end, just to tide myself over until they finally get back together.

**Also, can someone beta read for me? **I deleted a bunch of my fics because they just didn't flow right or anything. I'm gonna recover them now that I think about it, if I can just get a critical eye to help me look them over?

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><p><em>Natsu,<br>Gray has been really secretive recently. And quiet, as usual, but I guess that's the new normal when you aren't here to pick a fight with him. You know, he's been spending more time with Juvia, too...Gajeel doesn't seem happy. But that might just be because of, you know.  
>Levy told me he hasn't been acting quite like himself since that day. She went out with him for dinner once, and she said that he's pretty distant.<br>I can't say I blame him. I haven't really spoken to anyone, either. We still meet up now and then (the whole guild does), but it's just not the same. Sometimes, and this is crazy, but sometimes I think they pity me. They shouldn't. I'm coping; I mean, it's not easy. But it's not like Gray, or Gajeel, or you. I didn't lose a father, this time. I lost a best friend.  
>Two of them.<br>But sometimes, they talk to me like I lost so much more.  
>Miss you,<br>Lucy _

She curved the last letter of her name and scribbled a little heart right next to it, her pen hitting the desk only moments later, the noise filling the silence she'd grown so accustomed to. Distant chocolate eyes were fixed on the last three words, words she never would've imagined she'd have to say to Natsu, as her vision blurred with unshed tears, ones that she wouldn't let fall; the purple ink had already been smeared enough.

Folding the note with care, Lucy stood from her spot at her desk. Her fingers brushed beneath her eye to catch the hot tears before they could spill down her cheeks; her gaze flickered to the small box where her letters had been placed months prior, and she allowed her fingertips to dance across the top for a fleeting moment as she passed it by.

"Tomorrow, Mom. I promise."

The light shining in through her window from the spring sun offered nothing but false hope and cold warmth. It was times like this that she would find herself wondering how the world could keep on turning; why did she have to be one of the only people truly affected by this tragedy? No one else seemed to care, or even to know, yet she was there, alone, and feeling more empty than ever before.

Perhaps she was just taking her losses too hard. She didn't see the others settling in a corner and crying over what they've lost, only preparing to make the best of what was to come.

The little basket atop the shelf next to her window remained hidden in shadows, not quite being lit by the sun's attempt at a welcoming golden light. Lucy rose up onto her tiptoes and dropped the folded paper in, a heavy sigh passing over her lips; for weeks, she'd written. It was an easy way for her to cope with all that had happened, as writing to her mother in the past had been.

But soon, that basket would spill over, and Natsu...would he still be gone?

She'd looked for him, of course. No way would Lucy let him leave her behind without a fight. Perhaps, she often wondered, that was why he'd left a note instead of telling her personally, but she couldn't help but feel a little hurt that he wouldn't share this with her. Despite that she wouldn't understand his situation as much as Happy would, Lucy wanted to help. She wanted to be there for him, just like he'd always been for her.

It hurt to know that he wouldn't give her a chance at doing so.

Then again, he was just being stubborn. Lucy knew Natsu better than most people; he need some time and space. Who wouldn't, after what he'd endured, gaining a family member he'd lost years ago, and then seeing him slaughtered right before his eyes?

A whole year without him - well, that might as well have been a lifetime, but she would do her best to get through it. A few weeks had already shot straight by, and while it seemed as though it had come and gone rather quickly now, thinking back, all those hours spent staring at the wall and wondering what to do with her life with the one who'd brought it so much color, that had been a painful loneliness that she never wanted to experience again.

Both arms were lifted above her head in a stretch as her back arched towards the window; she found herself gazing down at the world outside with a certain fond gleam in her eye, memories swimming through her head, and that wasn't a rare occurrence these days. A heavy sigh marked the end of her brief reverie. She needed to put that to the back of her mind for the time being. Rent wouldn't pay itself.

She turned on her heel, fishing for her ring of keys and swiping up one that felt the most familiar now.

"C'mon, Loke. I'll need you."

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><p><strong>Ending Note: <strong>When I wrote the phrase "cold warmth," I'm well aware that's an oxymoron, but it's supposed to imply that the sun's heat is not nearly as satisfying as Natsu's.

**Thanks for reading. **

**(:Mizune**


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